Local Social Media "Body Shaming": Thighs, Noses, Moles and More
Warwick social worker Jennifer Rowe says she has been encountering many teens coping with body shaming.
JESSICA COHEN
JUL 16, 2024
When social worker Jennifer Rowe first heard about high school girls taunting a peer by showing photos of her on social media when she was thinner in middle school to spotlight her weight gain, Rowe said, "At first I thought it was just a Warwick issue. But now I hear from girls in Monroe and other states. This appearance-driven bullying targets height, weight, freckles, moles, scars, the ‘ski slope nose,’ race, gender, and disability. It keeps shifting.”
This social media bullying goes on 24 hours a day, sometimes materializing in person. Someone teased for their weight may be pinched, poked or punched, Rowe said.
“Girls are looked at for whether their thighs rub together. They get suggestions about getting veneers for their teeth or plastic surgery for their nose. The beginnings of body dysmorphia show up in eating restrictions, so at some point they need to see a specialist. Parents and coaches may make comments about weight, and kids internalize it. The gremlins become little internal voices, parrots on their shoulders."
The focus may be on boys as well as girls, especially in sports like wrestling, with weight requirements. Height and strength may also be criticized online.
“Team members may have been together for years, whether in cheerleading, football or soccer,” Rowe said. “Insecurities are weaponized. In Australia and the United Kingdom, 50-60% of boys and 60-70% of girls are bullied about their bodies."
The internalization may be intensified by occasions when, as has been happening online, girls are told they weren’t invited to an event because they weren’t thin
enough.
“Gremlins are touched off by online comments that suggest not being thin enough or pretty enough or some other trait,” said Rowe. “It’s hard to get them to take a social media break or a 50% social media reduction.”
She noted the influence of parents’ behavior. A mother expressed concern about her 17-year-old daughter’s desire for plastic surgery, but the mother had plenty of plastic surgery herself. Kids also talk about their interest in taking weight loss drugs as a result of peer pressure to change their shape. Social media filtering of photos exacerbates such inclinations.
Rowe urges teens not to send nude or sexual photos of themselves. Someone who seems trustworthy one moment may not be later.
“A girl shared a photo of her breast with a boy while they were in middle school. He shared it on high school graduation morning,” Rowe said. “After they’re 18, that can be considered by police to be sharing pornography.”
She also pointed out how popular girls may “weaponize their popularity,” and others follow her example to avoid becoming bullying targets. A group shuns someone and others follow suit to avoid being shunned themselves.
At a reunion 20 years later, adults may return to their old groups and habits, stirring up old anxieties. Rowe recalled coaching a woman with that apprehension, suggesting she greet her old bully quickly and then head for the bathroom. But the woman came out of the bathroom and found the bully waiting by the door.
Rowe suggests that parents set good examples by not weighing themselves, maybe not even having a scale. When a parent does criticize a daughter’s weight, Rowe says she asks the girl, “What can your body do? What can you control, such as strength training? Speak up. Ask for help. Don’t bully as a spectator. What would happen if you speak up about bullying? What if you said, ‘I’m not comfortable with this’ ?”
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